Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Reality Reviewed...

So I've revealed my love for The Bachelor already, but can I just say how freaking amazed I am that he picked the one that he did? I'm shocked. And in awe. I honestly didn't see that one coming. I do have to share my five year old daughter's reaction to the episode:

Travis: "I feel bad..." (or something along those lines)
5: DON'T!!

Travis: "I'm sorry...."
5: I'M NOT!!

Where on earth does that child get her attitude? Um....oh yeah....nevermind.

***

I'm anxiously awaiting the final episode of Project Runway. 25 minutes and counting! I'm sad, sad, sad that Nick is not a part of the final three (He was robbed!!) so I'm pulling for Daniel V. Or...um....whatshername. Chloe? She's good too. I just hate Santino, naturally.

But seriously, I do think that Nick and Daniel are very talented designers. Of course the fact that they're just the kind of eye candy that makes me giggle and swoon doesn't hurt.

Yes....I know.

Monday, February 27, 2006

Drunk Monday

Yeah.

So I'm not exactly proud of this, but I'm drunkenly watching the final episode of The Batchelor. That boy is yummy.

I know I had more to say, but again.....drunk. On a Monday. Certainly doesn't bode well for the rest of the week.

Spell check, anyone?

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Bite me.

So today is The Day That I Hate Most* and office meeting day, all rolled into one. Oh joy.

Yesterday's email reminder about Fun Tuesday included a little note: "Don't forget that it's Valentine's Day. Wear pink and red!" So I'm wearing brown. Head to toe, brown. I'm assuming that brown is the color of my cold, dead heart.

All bitterness aside, I'm hoping that I can reign in my bad attitude enough today to guarantee that my office key will still be functioning tomorrow. The boss man's pretty cool, but he has a strict No Grumpy People rule. I'm hoping they'll throw me a bone and remember that I'm Suzie McPerky, bitch on the inside, 364 days a year.

Just don't tell him about the Motherfucker Chorus that's on a continuous loop in my head and I think I'll be ok.

*Quick catch-up session here. I'm assuming my hatred of all things cupidy and heart-embellished comes from the fact that my first love dumped me for a man. Or that all of the relationships that followed could be summed up in this way: I make poor choices.

Monday, February 13, 2006

MOTHERFUCKER!!!*

My eyes feel like I've been crying all day. I swear I haven't, but at this point I'm giving it some serious thought.

This morning with filled with errands.... a quick trip to Target to pick up a new black ink cartridge and some crap I didn't need and then to the post office for stamps. Once again, our motherfucking post office doesn't have the new postcard stamps.** This time instead of offering me the old postcard stamps and the two cent stamps necessary to make up for the rate hike (oh, yes! they did only increase postcards by one penny, but they don't have stamps for that so I got to overpay) they could only offer me a fucked up assortment of 10 and 2 cent stamps. 500 of each, dammit. So my afternoon was sucked up by sticking four stamps on each of the 250 postcards I needed to mail today. Oh wait, I did 50 other postcards with the leftovers from the last trip to the post office. So we're up to 1100 stickers I stuck today. Plus the 300 labels I did last night. Oh, AND! the 250 stamps and 250 labels on the other mailing. I'm losing my fucking mind and it's only Monday.

So about that other mailing....

Last night I ran out of ink while printing it. Sucks, but it was an excuse to go blow some cash at Target. So after the post office bullshit I came home to put my new ink cartridge in the printer, which then proceded to only print about 300 pages before crapping out on my. DAAAAMMMMMIT! I bought this damn printer because it was supposed to print 900+ pages per black cartridge. My ass! So here I am stuck halfway through the job once again.

But wait! What about my 123inkjets order?

I ran out to the mailbox, full of hope and wouldn't you know it somehow the grand ole USPS decided to make up for the stamp thing by delivering my replacement ink order today. Hallelujah!! I skipped back to the house like a drunk schoolgirl, only to get to the printer and realize that I had ordered the wrong motherfucking black cartridge for my printer. What. The. Fuck. Why does this damn thing take two different black cartridges and why do I have to be the dumbass the orders the wrong one?

I am trying really hard to breathe and be calm but dammit, I could use a break today. I hate doing mailings and shit like this does not help.

* Ok, I'm not usually quite that vulgar, but that's the word that runs through my head most of the time these days like some damn potty mouth mantra, so I figured that because I'm pretty sure no one reads this, I'd just let it out.

** And yes, I could go to another post office and try to find my stamps but this post office is actually clean. Well, sorta clean. I hate spending 30-45 minutes waiting (yes, this is average around here for some damn reason) waiting in a filthy icky post office.

Friday, January 27, 2006

And you thought I had a "problem".....

My three year old just asked for red wine. I kid you not. The conversation went like this:

3: Can I have some red wine?
Bea: You want a glass of red wine?
3: Yes, red wine.
Bea: Red wine?
3: Yes, I want a piece of toast.

So I move in to the kitchen to fix Breakfast #2 for Her Royal Highness when the five year old comes in and helps herself to a slice of bread.

5: Can you put butter on this?
Bea: Sure.
5: Wait. Do we have jelly?
Bea checks and confirms that there is in fact jelly in the fridge and proceeds to open said jelly.
5: Ok, I'll just have butter.
Bea: But....jelly....yes.
5: Well, I was thinking jelly sandwuch so I'll just have butter.

While I was beating my head against the wall I spotted my reflection. Two new grey hairs. Surprised?

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Watch Reality TV? Who? Me?

Yes, I like me some reality TV. I helped a friend with her audition tape for The Real World, back in the day. I've got more reality television set up on Season Pass on my DVR than any other type of programming. I've played Fantasy Survivor. I've seriously considered setting up one of those nifty ticker things in my message board signature counting down the days to the much anticipated premier of Big Brother.

With that being said, I have to call attention to the fact that I do not love all reality television. American Idol makes my skin crawl (yes, go ahead and gasp...it's true!) and I could never get into the Amazing Race, although Damn! that would be a fun one to participate in. The Biggest Loser? Not for me, not even for a second. I did attempt to watch the trainwreck that is Skating with the Stars but it was painful and I won't be back. Probably.

I'm going to stop now....I sound like an addict trying to work her way out of an intervention.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Love it!

Blame it on my sick sense of humor or the work that I do, or both. I don't care. I just love this t-shirt. It's almost worth having another baby for.

Buy this at glarkware.

Yes, I did read a whole lot of Nancy Drew when I was younger.

I'm not sure what to think of this but I have to admit that I'm a little caught up in the whole thing. Nothing like a good online diversion to keep me from getting my work done.